Dating profile photos are one of the most annoying, yet most important parts of setting up your profile.

They need to show you from all manner of angles. Doing different things. Showing your personality and confidence. Telling a story of your life. And you need six of them (possibly nine, for some apps).

And no selfies!

Then, everyone seems to have plenty of pictures of other people on their camera roll…except pictures of themselves they like.

Professional photos can definitely help out here. But whilst most photography blogs will immediately say, “Yes! You need professional photos!”, I’m going in a different direction.

So if you’re wondering, “Should I hire a professional photographer for my dating profile?”

The annoying answer is…”It depends.”

Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.

-Warren Buffet

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What should your dating profile photos actually do?

An effective online dating profile is not necessarily a collection of your 6 most flattering pictures.

They should be pictures that tell a story. Not literally pics with the words, “Once upon a time…”, but have a think about this.

You come across person A’s profile; let’s just call him Thorin. Thorin has 6 photos.

• A picture of Thorin smiling outdoors.
• A picture of Thorin looking to the side in a different garden.
• A picture of Thorin smiling indoors.
• Another picture of Thorin smiling indoors.
• A picture of Thorin laughing outdoors.
• A picture of Thorin in conversation…indoors.

Thorin could be very conventionally attractive (and I’m sure you’ll agree that he is). Each of the photos could be of incredible quality. But besides what he looks like and what he wears, how much do you really know about Thorin?

♥ Fable

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Thorin

28

London

Well-dressed wanderer. Enjoys parks, live music and staring thoughtfully into the middle distance as if there may be a lost kingdom somewhere over there.

You'll usually find me…

Indoors, outdoors, or looking suspiciously serious in a nice scarf.

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Even if Thorin's pictures are individually great, you don't get much sense of his character.

Anyway. Next up is person B’s profile; let’s call him Dori. Dori also has 6 photos.

• A picture of Dori smiling.
• A picture of Dori jamming out on the drums.
• A picture of Dori outdoors by a hillside.
• A picture of Dori trying something new and getting a bit silly.
• A picture of Dori smiling in another social setting.
• A social picture of Dori…with a person that looks conspicuously like Thorin.

Assuming Dori’s pictures were still high enough quality for you to know what he looked like, his profile would tell a much richer story.

♥ Fable

(use the buttons, tap or swipe!)

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Dori

24

London

Musician, explorer and serial enthusiast. Happiest behind a drum kit, halfway up a hill, or carrying a brass instrument large enough to require its own postcode.

My perfect weekend involves…

Live music, somewhere outdoors, something mildly unnecessary involving a sousaphone, and at least one friend who can confirm I didn’t make the whole personality up for the photos.

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Dori's pictures tell a much better story of him as an individual.

While Thorin has six pictures of Thorin, Dori has six pictures of a life he’s inviting potential matches into, many of which are great conversation starters.

It wouldn’t matter if his mates took them all on a mobile camera. The first impressions you’d get from his profile would be completely different.¹

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What does a dating profile photographer actually add?

Dating photographers aren’t just looking to help you tell your story, but to do it in a way that makes you look really good.

We’re looking for…

• Ways to make you look natural. We’re on the lookout for natural smiles and relaxed poses, and a decent online dating photographer can use real-time direction to help you unclench, even if you’re normally very nervous in front of a camera.
• Ways to flatter you. We’re also good with lighting and composition when we take headshots.

And then, there are some photos which a dating photoshoot absolutely can (nay, should) help you replace:

• Old snaps. An anomalous picture of “much younger you” tells the story that you haven’t managed to get many photos of yourself which you like in the last 8 years.
• Smartphone selfies, especially bathroom mirror selfies. These tell the story that you don’t have anyone else in your life who takes pictures of you.
• Anything obviously filtered or photoshopped. I have no idea why anyone uses Snapchat filters on their dating profile. The story people get from altered shots is…”I don’t actually like what I look like, and you might not either.”

A friend with a smartphone can help you get up-to-date photographs full of your best candid smiles. But a professional photographer means you aren’t stuck hoping that someone accidentally snaps you at the right moment.

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A professional shoot can create useful moments surprisingly quickly…

…but we can’t fill every gap in your profile.

For example, my dating profile photoshoot is a walk in a picturesque outdoor location in London, and we stop where the light levels work to try and capture your best side.

But this still only addresses part of the problem.

• The clear face shot: Whether it’s a close-up headshot or a slightly wider head and shoulders shot, I can probably get a hundred of these for you in a single session.
• The full-body shot: as above. We can get these anywhere.
• The “on a date” shot: easy peasy. A café, a picnic table or anywhere similar; I can get a picture that implies what being on a date with you would actually look like.
• The social shot: unless you bring a friend to the shoot, I can’t get this one for you (but I am happy to be your friend in a selfie).
• The activity/hobby photograph: this one hugely depends. If you’re the indoor type or you like reading, browsing markets or playing guitar/snooker, I can absolutely get this shot for you if we meet in the right place or you have the right item with you. But if your hobby is Sunday league football, cross-country or skiing, it’s unlikely we’ll get this shot during a walk through London.

Then, there’s one more which I think is slightly underrated…

The travel shot

Sometimes…yes!

I recently had a client who contacted me because they wanted photos in London specifically. In fact, they were from the north of England and were only in London for a wedding. But we went on the shoot, and I got several photos of them in front of St. Paul’s Cathedral, Westminster, the London Eye, and so on, which they were very happy with.

So, whilst a local dating photographer can’t exactly get travel shots for you (unless you somehow arrange a destination photoshoot), you can absolutely look up a local dating photographer when you go someplace else.

In fact, it might be the best way to get this shot, especially if you’ve travelled there on your own.

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Who are you trying to meet on dating apps?

There’s also something very different about the “vibe” with professional photos.

• If all of your photos are very professional and strongly edited, there will be a shine that suggests you’re trying extremely hard. You’ll come off as someone who takes yourself (and dating) VERY seriously.
• If some of your photos are high quality but lightly edited, it should strike the balance between good enough quality to tell your story, whilst still feeling natural.
• If all of your photos are taken on a mobile camera at varying light levels, it will feel a lot more casual. There’s a strong vibe of authenticity, but it can also come off as sloppy or low effort if the pictures are of a lousy quality.

Different people prefer different signals. Some will appreciate a profile that looks more considered, whilst others will think too much polish makes it feel like you’re trying too hard.

General dating advice is beyond the scope of this blog, but this is a point worth making. If you’re hoping to meet someone who puts thought into how they present themselves, it’s reasonable they should expect you to do the same.

It’s not mandatory to hire a pro for this. It shows a little investment in yourself, but some decent smartphone pics can still look very considered.

The benefit of a professional photoshoot is that it makes the process deliberate. You can plan the gaps in your profile, get multiple useful shots in one go, and have someone direct you and keep shooting until you have options you actually like.

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Your dating profile shouldn’t look like a photoshoot

There’s another point which doesn’t get said enough:

It’s unlikely we can set up an entire dating profile for you in a single shoot.

If every single photo on your profile looks like it was taken on the same day, it can make your profile feel staged rather than lived-in. In one shoot, we can do a few things to help break this illusion, like move between multiple locations or allow small clothing changes.

But there will always be some clues:

• all pics taken at the same time of day/natural light level
• all pics show you with the same haircut, facial hair or makeup
• someone familiar with the area will know if the photos were all taken within 200 metres, especially in the more iconic parts of a city like London
• the photographer’s visual style repeats in every shot

And that’s why I much prefer to help someone fill the gaps in their dating profile pictures, NOT promise to manufacture an entire profile from scratch.

♥ Fable

(use the buttons, tap or swipe!)

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Balin

35

London

Devoted scholar of Avenue Q. Frequently seen wandering city streets in the same T-shirt, apparently determined to prove how many different portraits one outfit can support.

I get far too excited about…

Avenue Q. This is, unfortunately, the main thing the photographic evidence allows me to tell you.

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Using 6 photos from almost identical conditions can make the whole profile feel like it was assembled in an afternoon instead of collected from an actual life.

Don’t hire someone to manufacture a life you don’t have

It can be tempting to want a photographer to show you as some kind of supermodel.

That’s not necessarily wrong. If you are in fact a supermodel, I think it’s a great idea.

But if you aren’t…well. A single conspicuously flattering photo on your profile is probably a good thing. But 6 photos of you in poses that feel like they belong in a fashion magazine will make people wonder if they’re looking at a dating profile or a casting card.

Similarly, no reasonable dating photographer should try to get a picture of you hang gliding, in a Muay Thai tournament—or, “walking down the street, holding a coffee and a chessboard, laughing”—if that’s not what you’d normally do anyway.

I’ll always show up to a photoshoot with a couple of poses and angles to try, but I won’t stick to it religiously. Ultimately, it depends on the subject. I’ve suggested poses before, but I’ll always make it clear: “Only if it feels like it represents you.”

Online dating portraits should present the real version of yourself, not manufacture a caricature.

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Will hiring a professional dating photographer actually get me more matches or dates?

Having great photos is incredibly important on dating apps since people make superficial judgements without much information.

If, and only if, your photos are a bottleneck in your profile, pro shots can absolutely help you remove said bottleneck.

But if your photos are already telling an entertaining/honest story about who you are and what you look like, it doesn’t matter if they were taken on a phone on a night out.

Professional dating photos will usually help you look slightly nicer.

But no reasonable person can guarantee you’ll get more profile views, likes or messages.

In any case, more matches might not be the goal. Because…

Will better dating photos help me meet the kind of person I actually want to meet?

The idea of photos that represent you is to give people a better feel for what being a part of your life would actually be like.

They’ll make you more attractive to the right people…and less attractive to the wrong people.

A great dating profile photographer can help you do that, too. We aren’t necessarily trying to make you universally attractive. We’re trying to help you become more attractive to the right person.

So, should I hire a professional photographer for my dating profile?

If…

• your photos are old and don’t really represent you
• your profile is mostly selfies (…or, if you still have any selfies on there)
• you have almost no clear pics of yourself alone
• you know you look stiff/awkward in pictures
• you’re missing some of the important pictures which you can get on a photoshoot
• you’ve got a perfectly interesting life, but no one has thought of photographing you in it
• getting useful pictures has become the thing preventing you from launching or improving your profile…

Then absolutely, yes. Professional dating profile photography can help boost your dating success.

On the other hand, if…

• you already have recent, varied flattering shots of yourself
• they clearly show what you look like
• they represent your personality/life well
• the actual weakness in your profile is your prompts, your bio or your messages
• you’re hoping a professional photographer can manufacture six versions of a more interesting person…

A dating photographer is, honestly, less likely to help.

If your current photos are already working: brilliant. You don’t need my help, and I won’t become one of the photographers who insists you should hire me anyway.

But if your photos are holding you back, maybe it’s time to get this sorted. Every month you’re working with suboptimal photos is another month they’re giving the wrong impression or attracting the wrong people.

If you’re in London and you’re looking to improve your dating profile, you can have a look at how my dating photography in London works.

I’d absolutely love to help!

Until the next one,

-Tommy

1. In reality, both Thorin and Dori are incredibly interesting people. In Thorin’s case especially, I had to go looking for photos where he wasn’t doing anything interesting to make my point here, which was actually surprisingly difficult. Yours sincerely…Bombur. ↩︎

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